Half-Life 3: Fans Flock to Pressure ‘Valve’

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2″ and “Half-Life”, the award winning company has endeared themselves to thousands of fans. “Half-Life”, which told the story of physicist Gordan Freeman and his fight against the Xen aliens. With “Half-Life” and “Half-Life 2” some of the most popular and best-selling games out there, it’s no wonder many fans are begging for the next installment. But some fans just might be taking it a little too far.

1/10 The Campaign

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Enter ad firm interns Chris Salem and Kyle Mazzei. Diehard fans of the series, they’ve got a proposal. Or rather, an Indiegogo campaign. With a goal of over $150,000 dollars, the two hope to ally other Half-Life fans in an effort to finally convince Valve to create the game. (https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/we-want-half-life-3)

However, this is not to say that they’re funding production of the game. No. Should you donate to this campaign, expect your moola to go towards a “reverse marketing” campaign.

2/10 Wait, What?

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And yes, Salem and Mazzei are for real. Once Salem and Mazzei can pony up the 150,000, they plan on getting Valve’s attention. And they’re doing it in the way they know best.

As ad firm interns, how else but through an obnoxious ad campaign Valve employees can’t escape, of course? They’ve raised approximately 1495 dollars so far. Which is more than we thought possible, too.

3/10 Why Donate?

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If you’d really like to pony up your hard earned cash for the cause, at least you can get a t-shirt out of it. No really. If you donate $75 dollars, you can receive a t-shirt to remember the day you were dumb enough to donate to this campaign.
But hey, if you donate $3000 dollars or more, you’ll get JJ Lewis to write a song about you so maybe you’ll feel a little better about your poor financial decisions.

4/10 There’s a Concert Too?

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Oh, and there’s a concert too. If the campaign actually reaches its final goal of 150 thousand, Salem and Mazzei promise to pack a “Seattle venue” for what’s supposed to be “the most epic concert ever”. A Half-Life themed concert, Salem and Mazzei hope to pack the event with other Half-Life fans and personally invite Valve employees.

Not a bad idea in itself, we admit. Why not just have the concert by itself? We know there’s an audience for it.

5/10 Adwords

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But before we can fund a rocking concert, we have to explore the borderline harassment. Once the campaign reaches $3,000, the advertising intern duo plans to hatch their plot.
By creating a Google AdWord campaign, the ads are meant to pop up whenever Valve employees Google themselves. So, yes, this campaign is counting on Valve employees having an ego. But who hasn’t Googled themselves, right? While innocent enough, providing tongue-in-cheek reminders that fans want Half-Life 3, there’s no denying it’s a little odd at best.

6/10 A Mobile Billboard

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Once the campaign raises $9,000, they plan on entering the next phase of their scheme. For one day, the duo plans on hiring a driver and renting out a mobile billboard. Plastered with their demands, the truck is to circle around the Valve office in Bellevue, Washington.

Their goal, indeed, is to ensure that no Valve employee can walk outside or look out their window without seeing this glaring reminder. And hopefully, Valve employees won’t invest in thick, black curtains.

7/10 The Grand Gabe Newell Invasion

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At this time, we feel it’s best to let you all know that yes, this campaign is for real, and no, you’re not tripping out. Should this campaign, inexplicitly, earn 45 thousand dollars, our two interns plan on infiltrating Valve headquarters. Namely, they’re going to hire 15 Gabe Newell, Valve’s co-founder and managing director, lookalikes to pay a visit to the Valve headquarters, with ‘Half-Life 3’ t-shirts to boot.

If they do somehow manage to beat the odds and earn the money required to put this phase of the plan into action, then maybe we can expect a few viral videos to come out of this, who knows? Personally, we would love to see Gabe Newell’s reaction.

8/10 But Wait! Isn’t There Already a Half-Life 3?

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Good point. Technically, Half-Life 2: Episode 1 and Half-Life 2: Episode 2 can be considered sequels to the first two installments. Gabe Newell has even referred to the two, admittedly bite-sized games, as Half-Life 3 in interviews.

While we admit there may be more to be desired, any fan of the first two games at least has Episode 1 and Episode 2 to quench their thirst for a third installment. Now if only Valve can release Episode 3. But there you have it, team. Why not install the two episodes off of Steam and play it while adorned in your little Half-Life 3 t-shirts.

9/10 Is This a Good Idea?

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Well, it’s no secret that fans of the Half-Life series have been dying for a full-fledged, third game. You can’t escape it. Valve’s likely received their share of mail and pleas for a third installment. But we can say, we are impressed with the amount of support this campaign has received thus far- having gotten over a thousand dollars of donations already.

Is it a joke? We hope so. But should this campaign actually meet its goal by its November 17th deadline, you can expect some viral videos and maybe a decent concert out of it.

10/10 More Awesome Content

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Dude got very very lucky.

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